


Everlasting Love

by a_pathetic0524



Series: Everlasting Love [2]
Category: ONE OK ROCK
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Broken english, Drama & Romance, Eventual relationship, Friends to Lovers, Gayngst, Headcanon, Implicit Sexual Scenes, Implied Het Relationships, Implied Reverse, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining, One Night Stands, Or actually semi implicit, Original Work is Mine, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, POV Multiple, POV Third Person, Pining, Please Read Previous Work in The Series First, Pre-Relationship, Romance, Shit English, Unfinished Translation for Finished Work, You May Think OOC Ensues but Headcanon Anyway, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2019-10-20 05:07:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17616080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_pathetic0524/pseuds/a_pathetic0524
Summary: ❝What is love?❞Two members of a famous Japanese rock band, ONE OK ROCK, both have problems about a romantic relationship. For the vocalist, Moriuchi Takahiro sleeping with two different women on two different nights is far better than being chained in a relationship. On the other hand, Yamashita Toru, the guitarist changed lovers in a matter of short time as easy as changing a new pants.Even though love has grown long in their hearts, both feel that love is not something that exists for them.- A story about love written in Taka's and Toru's point of view





	1. Chapter 1: What is Love?

**Author's Note:**

> Preface - 
> 
> I think, I last year asked on Instagram if there's someone who wanted this to be translated into English and I got a positive answer despite I said, there are several heterosexual scenes. A lot of scenes happened regarding the women is headcanons built around the women rumors.
> 
> The timeline I used is February 2017 before Japan tour started.
> 
> POV will be alternating between Taka and Toru, with Taka on odd chapters and Toru on even chapters
> 
> I hope this fanfiction could be a new source of enjoyment in your free time despite the shit English I have in my story. 
> 
> p.s: if you speak or can understand Bahasa Indonesia, you can find the first draft of the complete version of Everlasting Love on my wattpad (a_pathetic0524): https://www.wattpad.com/story/114767561-toruka-everlasting-love-%E2%88%9A-bahasa-indonesia (there are changes between the two)
> 
> Disclaimer: ONE OK ROCK / Moriuchi Takahiro, Yamashita Toru, Kanki Tomoya, Kohama Ryota

_**W** hat is love?_

"Say, what do you think love is, Taka?"

_What is the meaning of love?_

Taka sighed. "We are fucking right now." Displeased, he stared at the almost naked woman under him and his movement to undress her stopped at his index finger under her frilly maroon bra.

"Well, let's say I want to be a little romantic tonight, can't I?" A blood-colored smile plastered her slim oval-shaped face.

He brought himself lower, kissing her soft cheek and gnawing her jaw, tasting bitter from her powdered beautiful face. He should've had to let her take a bath, too bad he couldn't hold it any longer. And blue balls were the last thing he wanted from his should be a fun night.

"I don't want to be romantic." He trailed her jawline up with kisses up to her ear. There, he whispered, "I want to be wild."

She chuckled and then tilted her head, exposing her slim neck to him to which he answered with his lips scooping her neck. Greedily he kissed her milk colored skin which contrasted her long silk-like black hair followed by biting and sucking on it once in every kiss as a mark that finally after several parties and meet-ups he could fuck her.

"Aren't you a bit too hungry tonight?" She giggled at the same time he slid his fingers under her bra, massaging her left breast.

"And, whose fault was it?" For teasing and touching him here and there all night as they partied at his friend's club. When she started grinding her body against him as they danced, that was the moment he decided he'd spend the night with her than the not-in-a-relationship girlfriend he brought with him. After all, he had been eyeing for her all this time after he got bored with the usual. He buried his nose on the crook of her marked neck, devouring the sweet and luscious smell of her sweat and perfume as his pervert fingers teased her cherry. "Be responsible," he murmured, his breath heavy and hot.

"Oh, God," she moaned, lighting a blaze hotter on his crotch. "Taka..."

The bed creaked painfully like him behind his tight jeans as he brought himself down, trailing her skin with lustful kisses and playful bites. The more she moaned in each of his touches, the more his body drowned in a sea of flame. He wanted her more. He wanted to taste her more, to devour her more, to leave more marks in each of her curves that he wished any men sleeping with her tomorrow or the day after would know that he had tasted her before they could.

There was nothing like a feeling of doing something first and better than any other person ever could. He loved being better than other people. He loved winning. Only a stupid person wouldn't love the feeling of winning. In term of women, for him winning wasn't a need to make them his entirely so they would be able to do the flashy and costly wedding, and could be with only her forever till death do them apart. For him, a win was to sleep with any women he wanted regardless of who were they, when he wanted it and how he won their body--to hell with their heart--before any other men around him could be. And he loved that.

Eventually, that was the meaning of love for him.

"Call...my name more."

To be unburdened to sleep with any women he wanted. Sex. Only sex. Because he wasn't as stupid as a certain guitarist.

 

* * *

 

 

"What?"

"Wow, you broke up? Again?"

"Really, Toru? Aren't you two were just dating early December last year? Or was it November?"

"Mori-chan, Mori-chan you heard that? Toru is amazing."

Taka averted his gaze towards the man sitting on a chair in front of their two other bandmates sitting on the floor with their back against their studio's mirror from the microphone and yellow tape he held. He glanced at their child-like bassist though he himself had scary facial features, "Yeah, amazing, maybe we should call someone from Guinness to record that in their book." And after that, he busied himself once again with his microphone, circling its handle with the yellow tape which was the theme color for their recent album and current tours, Ambitions. The color of hope.

In fact, the four of them were in the middle of their break after they finished the first rehearsal session today for the upcoming Japan tour this month after last month, January they finished their North America tour that was ended in a mess just like how he started this year with a dating rumor. Of course, she was a different woman from the one he slept with last night. A friend and a sex friend were different for him.

"So, have you find another woman?" Their drummer said while holding a giggle. "I hope this time you didn't get a slap from her." But in the end, the wavy-haired man couldn't hold his laughter and his laugh was joined by the man beside him, Ryota.

However, even after all of those mocks and giggles, his bandmates threw up, the subject seemed unfazed. He was silent from the beginning after he told the oldest and youngest member of theirs that he broke up.

Taka looked up.

The expressionless man sitting still on his chair one step away from where he stood with his back leaning against the guitarist's amplifier and speaker box, hugging the acoustic guitar he sometimes strummed between the waves of laughter.

"Then, Toru, Toru why did you break up with her?" asked their bassist enthusiastically. His eyes lightened with a curiosity of a five years old boy. Though a real five years old would look cute compared to their guitarist's childhood friend who looked more like a monkey. But then again monkey was quite cute to be compared to Ryota.

Tomoya nodded his head, making his hair bounced up and down. "Yes, yes, yes please tell us." He grinned at the now-single man.

"You cheated on her, don't you?" This time Taka opened a voice and that got him a long empty stare from their guitarist. "Everyone knew you got bored fast."

Yamashita Toru.

The leader and only guitarist of the rock band he started. The man who just turned 28 back in December lowered his head, hiding behind the long strands of his light brown hair bang. "That's," he paused with a long sigh, "not any of you's business," he said with his low and deep baritone. Wonder how easy the man would make any women down to their knees and or opened their legs with only a whisper.

Tomoya leaned forward. "So it means, she's the one who broke it up, right?" he concluded with a wide grin.

Their only guitarist since their former lead guitarist left his position after a huge scandal groaned quite noticeable. His long fingers danced carefully between each of his guitar's strings.

"You hit the bingo there, Tomoya" Taka sneered, "but which woman wanted to be in a long relationship with a cold man like Toru?"

Both of their bandmates glanced at him, but for Toru, it seemed the floor far more interesting than what he said or his face.

He motioned at staff to bring him a scissor to cut the tape. "If you aren't interested in dating you shouldn't, poor women getting hurt by a cold man like you."

Just did it like him. Unchained by a mere relationship status which he knew he couldn't keep even if he tried to. He could freely go to the right and left to fuck any women he wanted without anyone felt being cheated on. If he wanted to go on a date with any women he knew, he could call them, if they wanted sex, they could do it after.

From the start, he knew he was different from either Ryota and Tomoya who were keen on getting married and making a family. Like Ryota who despite being the youngest among the four of them he got married first which he knew people were shocked finding out that she was a younger sister of Toru's idol, Avril Lavigne.

And he knew, no, they knew, in reality, Toru had no difference with him.

This time he heard a mocking snort from Toru.

The staff he called dashed as fast as he could to him. He cut the tape for him and taking the tape roll along with him without he told him to. A new recruit always the best employee for a moment until they got too comfortable, though he had no problem with that.

And, ever since he started talking he noticed both Tomoya and Ryota chose to be quiet. Perhaps, because what he said made them felt awkward or that in their mind, they were thinking how to calm it down in case Toru and he had another little fight. Which mostly despite they had differences here and there in a way of thinking like how to reach a goal and about ideologies they hardly had a fight even after they pushed their opinions to one another.

But if they did have their little fight, usually it was because he got pissed. Like when he said to Toru, smirking at him, "Or was it because you have this certain kink?" He massaged the tape circled his microphone's handle to tighten the wrap. "Perhaps you got a boner or something when she shamed or slapped you."

"Ta-ka-hi-ro," Tomoya warned him.

_Oh, c'mon._

Both Toru and him, hell, even Ryota and Tomoya knew how cold Toru towards his girlfriend. Their drummer even wondered once if Toru accepted one or two of them out of pity or if they bugged him too much that in the end, he said, 'yes'. Only for then, after those women got the 'Yamashita Toru's girlfriend' label, he kept ignoring them. How many times the three of them found Toru looked disinterested when his phone rang. The man quietly glanced at the screen and rather than answering, he would either dismissed the call or let it rang until it stopped.

If he acted like that, then why he dated them? Wasn't waiting for them to break their relationship was a pain in the ass? Since they knew how women could be so persistent when it comes to love. If it was like that, what conclusion he could draw other than perhaps Toru got satisfied from something about having those women broke him up.

"I'm talking the truth, don't I?" Taka glanced at Tomoya and sighed. He then turned his attention at Toru who was again seemed unfazed with what he said and kept busying himself with the acoustic guitar.

_Shit._

_Fuck him and this too hard and too fast heartbeat_.

It was too hard to breathe when an urge to grab the guitarist's t-shirt's collar and shout at him his anger filled his chest.

_Ah, Takahiro, what's with this tightness in your chest?_

"I mean," he chuckled, sneering at their guitarist, "why do you even bother dating them if, in the end, you acted cold towards them, distancing yourself from them?"

He knew what kind of a man, Toru was.

"A man who got bored too easily like you dating someone. Oh, how weird."

Tomoya cleared his throat. "Let's stop this," he clapped.

"Shut up." Taka glared at the drummer, the man beside him stared at Toru in a confused look. From the corner of his eyes, he noticed how he had gained some interests from at least two of their staffs.

He eyed Toru, "Don't you think a man like you would love it better to sleep with two different women in two different nights?"

Both Toru and him, neither of them were interested in love. A romantic one that's it. A feeling that made you wanted to be with a special someone forever.

"I know how similar the two of us are, Toru-san."

Neither Toru and he understood what do love is.

Both of them were too similar.

"Don't confuse me with you, Taka."

It was painful.

Their gaze met. A turmoil in him knotted his stomach. Toru's expressionless face looked hard and stiff when he frowned and his droopy lazy eyes stared at him unamused.

What? Did he upset Toru? When he said everything truthfully.

Toru stood up and signaled one of his roadies to get the acoustic guitar.

Tomoya and Ryota followed after. Their face pale as if what he said and what happened between Toru and him drained blood from their face. The drummer opened his mouth but the way he zipped it again before saying a word told him he didn't have enough bravery to say what he wanted. And their blond bassist, confused with the situation opted to shut his mouth, and sometimes turned his glance between Toru and him. A smart decision regardless of how stupid his innocent confused face looked, especially as he scratched the back of his head.

"Ah, Toru? Where do you want to go?" Ryota asked frantically at their band leader who walked away.

Taka turned his attention to their leader. The man paced past him without sparing even a glance.

"Toru?" Ryota asked again.

This time the band leader raised two fingers, gesturing a cigarette clamped between them without he turned around. Behind the door the guitarist slammed shut hard, Toru's wide back disappeared.

Silence joined them for a moment after Toru left.

Taka clicked his tongue. He brought himself closer to the closest band's staff. "Hold this," he said, handing the microphone over to the staff who flinched, still amazed by the situation between them. He turned towards the door.

"Takahiro?" Tomoya carefully called him.

Although unbothered to stop or answering his bandmate, he continued towards the door, leaving the awkwardness and questioning eyes behind.

 

* * *

 

  _What is love?_

_Ah, fuck with that._

"Do you see Toru?" Taka asked a girl who passed him after he stepped outside the studio.

The girl pointed towards the smoking room at the corner right of the fifth floor  
of their agency's building's hallway.

Taka fell silent as he fixed his eyes at the black-haired girl in a ponytail.

This girl, if he wanted it, he should be able to fuck her easily. A man like him, supported with a background as a vocalist from a well-known band where at least in every five streets a teenage boy dreamed to be him, would easily be able to sleep with anyone he wanted. All he needed to do was to point his finger at them. No matter who they were. Whether she was this girl, a mere staff at his band's agency, a prostitute, a common woman, a model or an actress, it should be easy for him to lure them to bed.

Anyone he wanted,  _but a certain man_.

"Taka-san, are you all right?"

Takahiro gasped. Eyes blinked fast, staring at the perplexed girl after she pulled him back after he let himself drowned in the thought. "No-"  _Shit._ "I mean, yeah,  _I'm fin_ e." He combed his raven hair back with his slim fingers. "Thanks."

Quickly, he then left the girl behind for Toru. A man who entered his life twelve years ago. He ransacked his life, destroyed his balance. A cruel man who turned his heart into a toy.

He reached the doorknob and opened the door with 'smoking room' sign on it. The thick smell of nicotine welcomed him alongside a noisy idol song from television as he walked in. He passed by the tv, the couches, and the long coffee table. Cigarette packs, electronic cigarette tubes, lighters, opened snack packages and several almost empty cups filled with either cold tea or coffee littered the table just like how it was when he fetched Tomoya and Toru here this morning for the rehearsal. Unlike this morning, however, there was no other person here but a brown-haired man who leaned forward against the balcony railing-- _and him_.

Takahiro opened the glass door separated the room and the balcony. At a glance, he could see gray smoke rising slowly, added color to the cerulean sky at the end of winter melted by the sun above his head. He stopped at Toru's right and folded his arms on top of the railing. Tall buildings and views of the traffic in the busy city were the only boring sight that could be seen from this place.

"So," he turned his head at Toru, a cheeky smile appeared on his face, "did I upset you?"

Toru opted to fill his lungs with Marlboro's thousand of poisons instead of answering him.

Taka raised a brow as a smile disappeared from his unamused face. "What? Giving me a silent treatment?"

Toru blew thick smokes out of his mouth.

"Did I upset you? Even though what I said was all the truth?" He snorted in annoyance.

And Toru gave him another silent and took another drag of his usual poison.

Taka frowned. Forcefully he robbed the cigarette from between two slender fingers that were always skillfully moving on the fretboard. And this time Toru gave him the attention he wanted. "Don't you think you look so cute when you got angry, Toru-san?" He smoked Toru's cigarette and took a step backward instinctively the moment the guitarist tried to get what was his back.

Toru clicked his tongue, and it grew his smile.

Bitterness spread on his tongue when he took a taste of Toru's cigarette. Taka chuckled, "Ah, is this why your kiss always tasted bitter?" He waved his hand with fingers clamped on the cigarette. It had been a little while since he had moved from being a casual smoker for a tube of vaping oil, and that was why he coughed a little when he let himself another drag of Toru's nicotine-heavy cigarette. That became a chance for Toru.

He grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer. His left fingers scooped his chin, forcing him to look up. "Aren't you the one who got upset here?"

"Me?" Taka chuckled sarcastically. "What for?"

Toru's warm breath tickled his cheek, chasing away cold from his skin as the man lowered his head. Inside of him, desires rose to his chest and forced his heart to work harder. Faster. Desire turned into despair.

"Say," Toru whispered on his lips. His baritone was heavy with a tone of seriousness. Somehow, he sounded hungry at the same time.

Taka swallowed saliva as he found himself trapped in the deep of Toru's dark irises.

"Do you love me?" the man said. But, as if he didn't want an answer, he pressed their lips together before he could react.

A whiff of tobacco and coffee immersed in his senses as Toru forced him to open his mouth. Different from kissing a woman, there was no stickiness from a lipstick he got from Toru's bow-shaped lips that faded every time the owner smiled. There was no artificial fragrances and tastes. Only bitterness.

It was tormenting.

He pushed the man away, ending their kiss but created almost little to no distance between them. The tip of their noses still rubbed against each other. "You tell me first, Toru-san," he grabbed the guitarist's t-shirt collar and locked his eyes at the man's deep subconsciousness, "what is love?"

When they were both men.


	2. Chapter 2: Contradictions

"Toru," she started, "did you ever love me?"

 

* * *

 

Sometimes, women always knew how to ask him the difficult question in a difficult situation. Despite they should've understood how he never was good with such difficulties.

Toru sighed a cloud of pale-gray smoke as he leaned his back against the couch. Taking another drag of his second tobacco for this afternoon, he eyed the smaller man who sat lolling on the long couch while he sat on the one person ones with his back towards the balcony.

The lithe man sometimes swayed his legs, which he put up on the coffee table, left-right-left-right if he didn't busy giggling alone or hovering his thumbs on his phone screen. It had been almost fifteen minutes since the man decided to challenge his ex-girlfriends in questioning the difficult to him.

What is love?

Did he meant to look up for the word in a dictionary or what?

Done with poisoning his lungs further, Toru dragged the almost full ashtray to him and crushed the half-left cigarette after he made way for a little space to do it. If some lungs doctors saw the number of cigarettes the rest and him smoked in a day, they'd be either very happy looking at the number of future patients they might get or got traumatic because some people really didn't care about their health. Especially in a stressful industry they were in, filling your lungs with nicotine from tobacco or vaping oil sounded healthier than adding another stress for trying to be healthy.

In his defense, he did a routine workout.

"So," a raspy voice baited his attention.

Toru stopped mid-way with his hand hanging in the air when he tried to grab bottled mineral water he asked staff to bring him five minutes ago. He lifted a brow.

"Will you answer my question now, Toru-san?" The man who'd turn 29 in two months brought himself forward. He squinted his almond-shaped eyes which framed his midnight colored irises. There was a meaning behind the way the man stared at him. A meaning he didn't bother to look up.

Toru grabbed the bottled mineral water and twisted the cap. He shrugged as an answer before he watered his burning throat.

"What's with that?" Takahiro laughed dryly. "Just admit it if you didn't understand it, Toru-san."

That neither of them understood love.

"What's hard with that?"

 

* * *

 

"Tell me Toru," dark-colored tears fell down her eyes, trailing her reddened cheeks. The thunderstorm outside the cafe added a more dramatic touch in the situation he trapped in. His decision to choose a private room seemed correct.

"About what?" He averted his gaze from the window to his girlfriend -- judging from the situation though, gonna be an ex-girlfriend.

She frowned and stared straight into his eyes. How should he even respond to that?

"Tell me if you've ever enjoyed it a little when we made love?"

 

* * *

 

Toru groaned. "Let's stop this."

"Running away, eh?" Taka jeered. His vocalist grabbed the TV remote control and changed the channels until he settled on one airing a celebrity gossip.

Really?

"Look," he said.

"Did getting older turned you into a middle-aged housewife or what?" How far did Tomoya infect his vocalist with his romance genre's addiction?

Takahiro darted him a look and waved the remote in his hand towards the TV. "I mean I want to ask you --"

"Again?" Toru put the bottle he had closed back to the table.

"-- if you are gonna be like that."

He had heard about the scandal showed on the television since the woman cheating with somebody else's husband was in Taka's circle of friend.

"Are we gonna talk about your friend behind their back?"

A was a vocalist in a band that grew popular recently and despite they knew the band and had listened to one or two of their popular songs, at least him, knew no one of the members. A little while ago his LINE's chatting history with a certain female talent, Taka's friend, went public. (Talk about how your own personal phone didn't even get you a sense of security). Again, he was married, so it was evolved to be a huge scandal.

"Do you want to be like  _him_?" Taka said when a cut showing A from his band's video clip appeared for a glimpse.

Toru glanced at his vocalist. Their conversations faded into a silent drowned in the reporters' barraged questions towards the wife. A repeated recording from her small press-conference from yesterday was played on the screen he didn't bother to look at.

Takahiro grinned at him for seconds before he turned his attention to his phone vibrating with messages. There was a meaning behind the older man's grin. There was a meaning. And he didn't like it.

 

* * *

 

"Please, answer me, Toru ..." her voice hoarse with sadness.

"I --"

Toru stopped when his phone vibrated long in his jeans front pocket. He fished his phone and peeked at the screen from above the table with only an untouched cup of coffee which was his. "Wait," he stood up, glancing at the woman across of him, "Taka called."

 

* * *

 

He looked away. "Just tell me right to the point." What do you suppose by that? Because somehow he'd rather answering math tests than the one Takahiro put up.

The wife sat down between two men. When the camera panned to the man on the woman's right side, a blue-ish information box appeared on the bottom of the screen, informing them that the middle-aged man with almost bald-head was both the woman's spokesperson and lawyer. He answered some questions from the thirsty and hungry reporters cleverly while the woman beside him never looked up and kept hiding her face behind her long black hair. Sometimes she patted her eyes with her crumpled and discolored tissue.

Taka yawned. "I mean," he placed his phone on the table before he laid himself down on the couch. Looking up at him, his vocalist said, "Do you want to get married only to hurt your wife?"

Was that the reason why the man asked him these?

"Who said I want to get married?" Toru frowned.

"Judging at how you easily date a woman." Takahiro rolled to his side and smiled at him. "It won't be a surprise if you suddenly marrying someone out of nowhere. Come on, Toru-san, I've heard it from you exes how easy you were."

"Which ones?"

"Doesn't matter." Taka then said in his mocking female-like voice, "Oh, Toru dated me after I jokingly said: 'I don't mind if you let me dating you' and he said: 'sure'."

"Mine was, when I asked him if it'd be okay if we date, he just said: 'ok', then we date."

"But then he acted cold as if we never date," Taka said the last sentence with his low unamused voice.

Toru leaned his back. "Didn't know you care about me that much." Somehow his tone turned a little bit jolly and playful.

"Ah," Taka groaned and turned the channel. "Shut up."

They went into a full channel by channel tour before his vocalist settled in turning off the television instead. Without sounds coming from it, the one coming from the staffs outside and cars on the street grew louder.

"Don't you think I'm much better than you, Toru-san."

Toru closed his eyes. "Are we keeping score in how much women we slept with?"

"Yeah." Taka snickered. "You lose because you dated them. I hurt nobody."

 

* * *

 

"Sorry." Toru brought himself back down to the punishment chair. He took his cup and drank the cold bitter coffee.

"I know it," she said, heaving a harsh deep breath.

He furrowed his brow as he put the coffee cup back.

Her shoulders quivered. "You never loved me. Not even a bit."

 

* * *

 

Toru opened his drowsy eyes, staring lazily at the ceiling while he let his mind wandering. What his ex said to him during their break up last night echoed in his head. He dated her for around three months before he left Japan and most of their time dating, he spent it abroad. And when she visited during their North American Tour, why was he got upset?

She flew back to Japan when they had a fight. After she questioned him why did he hardly answered her calls? Why it took him long to return her messages? Why after she visited him, he didn't even smiling and looked unhappy?

Ah. Shit.

Toru sighed. He combed his currently dark-brown colored hair back and then he let his hand droop weakly on his thighs while he closed his eyes once more.

Different from him, Takahiro had said it on several occasions during his in and out magazine's interviews that he had given up in marriage. He did say he didn't date anyone and although he wanted his own biological children, he didn't think about marrying someone.

He was happy.

Somehow he was happy when he heard Taka said it.

"Maybe you were right."

"Huh?"

"I don't understand what love is."

 

* * *

 

"I'm no more important than --"

"If it's about the band or you, then you should understand it in the first place." He sounded frustrated.

 

* * *

 

"See?" Cheerfully, his vocalist responded. "I know it, Toru-san. I know it." A delighted expression on Takahiro's face greeted him when he opened his eyes.

"My way is better. I can sleep with anyone I want without hurting anyone else. Perfect." He clapped.

Toru brought himself up from his seat and walked towards the door.

"Admit it, Toru-san."

He turned back after the door lock clicked softly.

"You never love them, don't you?"

He grabbed his bottled mineral water, twisted the cap and gulped what left down his throat.

"I forgot your exes' names. What were they? Uh, Yuiko? Sayuri? And uh ... forget that."

He threw the empty plastic bottle back on the table just like that.

"Even Hitomi, you didn't love her, did you, Toru-san?" Taka squinted his eyes, staring at him who stood before the long couch where the man at, "If you did you won't bother sleeping with me while you dating her or your previous exes."

"Oh, Takahiro."

The couch screamed accepting his weight as he jailed Taka between his arms. He pressed his right thumb against the smaller man's lips before words escaped his mouth.

"Shut up, will you?" And that was his excuse before hungrily he devoured his vocalist's plump lips.

 

* * *

 

"No. I'm not talking about ONE OK ROCK."

He met the then 23 years old Shimizu Hitomi two years ago in a friend's wedding. December last year before he left Japan, she asked if it'd be a bother if they gave their closeness, which he didn't really understand how close they actually were, a label.

He said: 'Sure.'

Just like he always did.

But Shimizu Hitomi was different from his other past girlfriends. She was sensitive, clever, smart, straightforward, and courageous in expressing her feelings.

"Then?"

 

* * *

 

"Takahiro ..." Toru whispered over and over as he marked his vocalist's neckline with his kiss after kiss. Sometimes he let himself a drag of a mix of Taka's mint-scented cologne, soap, and sweat. And the louder Taka moaned as he buried his teeth in Taka's skin, the tighter greed blanketed him. It was hot down there; desires lit his thighs with fire. 

He slipped his left hand under the older man's t-shirt, feeling the smaller man's soft and smooth bare skin with his touch. No matter how frail Taka felt in his touch or how small and slender the man's waist, he still able to pick up the masculine feel from the man's body.

"Wait --" Taka pleaded.

"What?" Toru swallowed his desires down. It should be easy to know how pissed he was from the way he stared at his vocalist. "Told you to shut up, didn't I?" Lust and frustration deepened his voice.

"There, there, Toru-san." The man smirked as he playfully patted his head. "Turn on the tv, or we'll be in trouble."

Toru groaned. "Goddammit."

_Where the fuck did the fucking remote go?_

 

* * *

 

"Taka." Her smile seemed bitter when she said it.

"Taka?"

"You always put him first before me." And then, she choked in her sadness.


	3. Chapter 3: Wherever You Are

The world reflected in his eyes seemed different the moment midnight arrived. The street devoid of emotion and sound and that when the van he was in passed by, it destroyed the rare solitude into pieces, leaving regret and guilty in the deep of his heart. From afar, framed by the van's big front window, the lights from the street lamps lined up along the road impersonated the fireflies flying around the river he saw in his childhood.

The nostalgic melancholy soon made him missed his childhood. The time when responsibilities were only about the school's homework and his parents' rules. When he had learned about girls, there was nothing to think about besides he liked her and though he just wanted to fool around than dated her, nobody cared, because he was just a young healthy teenage boy. When puberty hit up, he thought of nothing but to get rid his virginity before he sees the dawn of his third summer in high school. He did lose his virginity to an older girl he thought as his first love. He dropped in his first year not long after an underage scandal that went out and around and around and around.

When you grew up to an adult, people started to scrutinize your habit of fooling around, started to barrage you with question about when you'd be serious and when you'd get married despite he never had any relationship with these people other than being an acquaintance, a friend of his neighbor, a neighbor of his friend, and so on and so on. Every question got louder the more he got older.

And then it seemed it was hard for two people of a different sex to have a mere 'friendship'. A picture of them together was a sign they were in a relationship and a hug became another.

Taka drew out a low frustrated sigh. His body ached everywhere although he did nothing much during the rehearsal other than singing, talking, thinking and maybe wandering here and there a bit. He, of course, had heard from his manager about how stress affected the body, not to mention the lack of sleep since they were in a busy season. They had no much time for America. It was a now or never for them, ONE OK ROCK. For him also.

He thought the media should've understood that to bother with stupid questions. Sadly, a man could only hope.

Because of the heavy stress and tight schedules, he recently changed his diet as his body immune despised egg and dairies. More mineral water than beer or wine, though he sometimes did take his chance to get wasted, alcohol was a man's best friend after all, and also more vegetables although the last time they were in Manchester, England they ate steak for breakfast, lunch, and dinner that Toru gave up for a not-so-tasty risotto and he got constipated for days. A man could only plan. Ha!

Taka, still leaning his head on the frontmost seat behind the driver and just across the door, averted his gaze towards the man sitting alone one seat behind him but on the door side.

Under the spell from humming music from the car's radio, the man was asleep in such a challenging pose. Yamashita Toru sat leaning on the seat with his legs wide open as if inviting him for another round after the quick couch sex they had this afternoon. His hands folded on his broad chest that inflated and deflated in a slow rhythm accordingly with his breath. And the head of his gray hoodie hid his eyes. Toru looked serene and peaceful in his sleep.

Taka frowned.

If Toru dreamed of Avril Lavigne, he'd slap the man awake. Not when the rubbery feeling from condom and stickiness from lubricant lingered in his ass.

"Oh."

A rapturous voice from the man beside him made him noticed the song played on the radio.

"Wherever You Are!"

Taka glanced to his side and a wide joyful smile greeted him alongside glittery eyes. "You creep me out." He smacked the top of the man's head hard, and before the man could scream he pressed his palm against the man's mouth.

"Mmf --" cried the man.

Taka pulled his hand away. "You are goddamn noisy, Tomoya." He wiped his palm on the drummer's jacket's shoulder. For a second he then smelled his palm, making sure it didn't smell like a ton of gyozas filled with mostly green onions than meat the gyoza-faced man ate this afternoon.

It did.

 _Shit_.

"And you're a sadist," Tomoya puffed his cheeks while his hands rubbed the pain away from his head.

Taka yawned, feeling comfortable in his seat and tired. "To you, yes." He slipped his hands inside his black hoodie's front pocket.

Wherever You Are hummed softly in the car. Valentine would arrive in a few days and he had heard their ballad song played many times alongside another famous love songs from Japan or Western here and there. Somehow, hearing his own voice singing the song gently and lovingly irritated him.

He glanced at Toru.

_Have you replaced Avril in your dream with me, Toru-san? Or should I whisper in your ear, that tonight, tonight you're my angel?_

"Let's play the song in my wedding, Takahiro," said Tomoya, hopefully.

Frowning, Taka stared at the drummer. "What did you say?"

Tomoya grinned until his small eyes became two lines. "We didn't play it in Ryota's wedding so," he put his arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer, "I want you to sing it, we to play it live in my wedding"

Someone was getting excited.

Taka slapped the chubby arm on his shoulder and distanced himself. "If you want to get divorced soon, sure." He snorted.

In fact, he wrote the song as a wedding gift for a friend. Despite how sweetly and lovingly he wrote the song, his friend's marriage didn't last long. The happiness he saw on their faces in their wedding faded and gone forever. He bet, his friend's ex-wife hated the song.

His parents did too. They began everything with love only to end it in a heated argument as if they finally had a chance to show each other their hatred. The drama he saw on the television and newspaper bored him to despair. Between his parents were his younger brothers and him. They did too get separated. His mom brought him, and his younger brothers followed his dad. For a while, he hated his dad for leaving and separating them, and to wear his surname was a curse.

What was love? What did love mean? When something began with love could end with hate.

Tomoya heaved a faint sigh. "It's a sweet song, though..."

But, bitter in his taste.

"Just shut up." Taka immediately turned his gaze towards the front window. The lights from the stores' and shops' name boards drew red and orange lines on the street as the car paced forward.

The song whispered and began asking him questions.

 _Who's the person he wants to make to smile?_  
_Who's the person he wants to promise to?_  
_Who's the person he wants to be with for the entirety of his life?_

Taka gritted his teeth. His fingers intertwined and tried to break each other as he squeezed hard. From the corner of his eye, he saw a man who was still asleep.

They were similar, yet different. Like Shibuya during the noon and the night.

Toru said he didn't understand love, but chose to date those women and waited until they left him. Why? If he didn't love them why he dated them? Why was it, since Toru left  _her_ and decided to sleep with him the man never found someone else he kept for long?

That night, four years ago, he caught a glimpse of something from Toru's gaze. He never found the meaning it had. Something that the man hid from him. What caused the man to ask him to sleep with him.

Although the man admitted to him after he forced him to,  _you do understand love, don't you, Toru-san?_

 _You love_  her,  _don't you?_

But him, he didn't.

"Taka, are you alright?"

Each song verse he sang sounded like empty word that left nothing in his heart. Besides the void itself. Every love songs he wrote was nothing more than illusions he created about 'what love is'.

He learned from his friends who fell in love. He listened to them talking about love. He imagined each expressions women could make when he wrote the sweet, loving words.

"Takahiro, you look pale."

He didn't understand love. Then again, why should he? Why should he understand pain?

He hated pain.

Taka bit his bottom lip. "Turn it off."

"Huh?" Tomoya confused.

Their manager turned his head towards him and as confused.

Taka raised his voice. "Turn the radio off." The pain in his chest suffocated him. Crushed him. Tortured him. Just like the pain from his bleeding lips. The pain tasted salty and copper-like.

"Wait." Their manager who sat in the front seat beside the driver reached for the stereo and mistakenly raised the volume before he frantically turned it off. "Done," he huffed, glancing at him.

Taka nodded; his right leg bounced up and down. "Now, stop the car."

"What?" Their manager frowned. Meanwhile, the driver peeked at him from the front mirror.

"What do you mean, Taka --"

He stopped Tomoya's sentence with his palm in front of the drummer's mouth. "Just stop the car." His breath became heavier and faster.

"But --"

From behind he heard a deep grunt, and the pain rose to his head. "What happen --"

Stop the car. Just stop the car.

"Stop the fucking car, or I'll jump!"

_Please._

Taka grabbed his backpack and rushed towards the door.

"Stop the car," their manager carefully commanded.

"Mori-chan! Careful!"

Before the van fully stopped in the middle of the street, Taka opened the door and jumped out. He failed and landed on his knees, though he could bear the pain. He forced him up and then ran across the street without looking to his left and right.

"Takahiro!" the man screamed. His deep baritone pierced through the night.

In the cold night that bit his skin harshly, Taka marched forward and sometimes he sprinted like a lazy hare in a field. His slender legs paced past the closed stores and buildings. The inside of his backpack rattled noisily like his hunting breath and pounding heart.

He didn't know where he wanted to go. The only thing he wanted was to be further and further away from ...

From who?

"Use your eyes when you walk!" He snapped at a drunk middle-age, fat man who bumped into his shoulder. Roughly, he pushed the man out of his way and continued forward. The man bewildered and cried before he blabbered non-sense when they had quite a distance apart.

The world worked against him.

"Taka!"

The goddamn man slowed him down.

Toru caught his arm and forced him to face the man before he grabbed his shoulders to make sure he didn't run. The streetlights illuminated the man's figure. He could see a flash of anger and fatigue in the man's eyes.

"Let go." Taka pushed the guitarist's chest but the man stayed unbothered in his place. He grimaced when Toru tightened his grip on his shoulders.

"Where do you think you are going?" Toru said, in his hoarse yet firm voice.

Taka laughed bitterly. "I fucking need a woman."

"A woman, eh?" Toru narrowed his eyes.

Taka pushed the guitarist's chest again, this time he put more strength. "Shit! Let me go!" He grabbed the man's wrists and pulled it. Everything to no avail. Their physical differences were too huge.

The guitarist bared his teeth. "You need a woman? In a time like this?"

"Yes!" His irritation flared; he glared at Toru. "Why? Can't I? Why should I be fucked only by you."

Toru's face turned sour. "We are tired." He emphasized his sentence word by word. "And you lost your mind."

"Then go home! Leave me alone!"

Toru clicked his tongue.

"What's hard with that?" Did his voice quiver? He somehow felt so cold and tired. His head ached and his waist felt sore. He wanted to puke.

He did too, Toru-san, wanted to sleep.

"Toru!" But the man had a different plan.

Toru grabbed his right wrist and pulled him along as he marched towards an alleyway. It was dark, almost pitch black if it wasn't because of the dim light from one or two lamps the owner's of the shop or store they passed by put on their shop's or store's backdoor. The pungent smell from piss and rotten food terrorised his nose. He staggered, trying to match the man's pace but Toru walked too fast. He followed half-running. They turned to another alleyway.

"Where?" He was panting.

"Looking for women." Different from him, Toru sounded calm.

His laughter echoed in the alley and Toru stayed silent.

Taka snorted. "Taking advantage of the situation as always, huh?" He sneered. "You are always like that, don't you, Toru-san? You had a fight with your girlfriend and you came to me. Fucked me. You got frustrated with works and you pushed me down. Fucked me. You felt bored. And you fucked me."

He yanked his hand, this time he did it successfully. Thanks to the fact Toru's palm was wet with sweat.

"What am I to you? A whore you can use anytime? Back then you did the same!" Taka chuckled. "Sleep with me, you said. Why should I always mend your broken heart?"

His head hurt. Hurt so much. So did his bottom lip.

"Leave me alone, just for once!"

Toru took a deep breath. His back still faced him.

Taka whimpered. "Goddammit, my hips hurt..."

"Are you done?" Toru glanced at him. The calmness the guitarist had, pissed him off.

Fuck that.

Taka brought himself closer to a garbage can and kicked it. The loud sound hurt his ears. But it was nothing compared to the pain from the tightness in his chest.

He stood silent in his place.

Toru walked to him. He reached his left hand. "Let's go."

"Toru-san..." Taka bit his bottom lip, opening the wound that started to close. Like Toru to him. He stared at the man's eyes. "Ok. Let's fuck."

Their relationship was a friend, almost like a family, and a bandmate as Taka and Toru from ONE OK ROCK. As Moriuchi Takahiro and Yamashita Toru, like how Shibuya became at night, they were nothing but a sex friend.

Did you know, Tomoya? What seemed sweet were sometimes bitter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ig: fandom: zen.ldh.oor | writing: a_pathetic0524


	4. Chapter 4: Sex, Only That

_What is love?_

A dictionary couldn't help him to understand. A quick search on the internet wasn't a help too. Perhaps, he'd ask Tomoya and Ryota later since both are married and had a plan to marry.

"This place is shit." Taka heaved a long sigh. Two dark marble-like irises framed by the almond-shaped eyes peered around. He scrunched his nose sometimes, telling him that he had found something distasteful from the motel room he rented for them tonight.

To be honest, while small and seemed dirty, this motel room wasn't bad. He had came here several times where he wanted to break away from the day to day's fatigue. When he couldn't escape the busy city of Tokyo and staying at home wasn't an option.

The staffs changed the sheet every after the room was used. He never found bed bugs neither he had ever found human's related liquid like, for example, semen. The room had its own shower room and, although small, it had hot water. And the room quite warm against February's cold weather. The motel, being around the corner of Shinjuku, was also far from the busy areas to make them afraid of curious lenses from the hungry paparazzis.

It should be enough, at least for him.

"Are you seriously bring me here, Toru-san?" However, Moriuchi Takahiro had a different opinion of course. "There's no tv, only one window, and even the shower room, can you even put yourself there? You realized that you are big, right?"

Taka then flopped and rolled on the bed. From one corner to another. He spread eagle and drummed the bed. "I think I will break my bones if I sleep here for too long." Taka slapped the bed. "It's hard."

Toru shrugged. He threw the bedroom's key and his cigarette and lighters on the nightstand and dragged a single chair that accompanied it closer to the bed.

"If you really want to have sex with me," Taka brought himself to sit, he stared lazily at him, "at least bring me to a better place. Even a three-stars hotel is ok."

Sex, eh?

Toru took his hoodie off and drapped it on the chair. "Is it really only that you have in your mind right now, Takahiro?"

An uninvited silence answered him.

He sits on the chair, taking a cigarette from the box and his lighter alongside him. "What were you really thinking by doing that? Everyone is tired, you realized that, right?"

Taka threw his stare away from him. "I'm going home."

"Takahiro," Toru grabbed the vocalist's wrist and forced him to sit back.

Clicking his tongue, Taka glared unamusedly at him. Anger glistened in his eyes. "Did you really bring me here just to argue?" He frowned. "If it's like that, I have no time for that."

"I just need a reason why did you do all of this?" Toru lowered his head. He traced and massaged the cigarette's length, making sure the tobacco and poison spread evenly inside the rolled paper.

"I will beg for everyone's forgiveness tomorrow." Taka's tone devoid of emotions.

"Takahiro." Toru glanced at Taka and found how the man's expressions looked stiff. His soft jawline tightened. And his eyes gleamed in a hostile agression.

"If you don't want to sleep with me it's better to call me a prostitute or pull anyone out there."

"I said, I just need a reason." Toru took the cigarette with his mouth and lit it. He put back the lighter to the nightstand before he brought himself to the bed that screaming as it accepted his weight. Kneeling on the bed, he yanked his belt followed by unzipping his pants.

Taka darted a look at him. His thick brows almost knitted.

Clamping the tobacco between his fingers, Toru huffed grey smokes. "Why?" He scooped Taka's chin with his right fingers and forced the man to look up at him. "Don't you want it? Why do you hesitate now?"

"What am I to you, Toru-san?" Taka reached the waist of his jeans and pulled it down to his thighs, exposing his grey boxers. His lips pressed on his enthusiasm bulging behind the cloth.

Toru took a long drag of his cigarette. Thick smokes escaped as he heaved a sigh. Slowly, the cold from their walk from the alleyway to the motel were being replaced by the warm of the room and the hotness of Taka's wet tongue. Libido had gained control over his sanity.

"A friend?" Taka murmured, his saliva left a trail down to where his sacks at. "Or a prostitute?" he asked as he glanced up at him. His fingers slid under his white t-shirt. Taka's palms hot on his burning skin.

"I don't know." Taking away the cigarette from his mouth, Toru sneaked his fingers between Taka's raven short hair. It was wet with sweat yet warm. "What do you want to be?"

The vocalist's dark irises returned his gaze, diving into his subconsciousness.  What the man wanted to find from his eyes, he also wanted to find out. His heart beat too slow as if counting down for something.

Not giving him an answer, Taka freed him and took him in a swallow, setting him in a blaze, taking his soul with it. Toru bit into the cigarette. He had forgetting how to take another drag of the poison when Taka himself had become one for him. Moriuchi Takahiro was a poison for his sanity. How he stares at him, how he sings, how he smiles at people around him. Taka's existence was a sin that burdened his shoulders.

 _Five_.

The countdown began.

Toru pushed the lithe man backwards, taking the control of his lust back. Strings of Taka's saliva and his clear precome connected Taka's lips and his lustful tip. Grabbing his cigarette, he crushed what left on the nightstand's top. The motel could send him a complain however they wanted and it was still their mistake to put the ashtray somewhere in the drawers than on the top of the nightstand.

"What it is, Toru-san?" Taka's laugh mocked him. "You can't hold it already? Although I just started?" His long and thin sensuous tongue swiped his plump bottom lip.

Toru took off his shirt and threw it to the floor. Behind his ribs, his heart beat uncomfortably. No longer too slow, but also not too fast. Wasn't normal either. It was a beat of enthusiasm, of impatience. He was a child waiting for his mom paid for the toy he wanted. But what was Taka for him? A friend? A prostitute? A toy?

What was love supposed to be mean?

They were two men, bandmates, friends, family who slept with each other. He fucked Taka while in every relationships he had with the line of his ex-girlfriends. His friendships with Taka was different from the one he had with Tomoya and Ryota, whom he had known from childhood.

Four years ago, why did he asked Taka to sleep with him? Why did he forced Taka to drown in the sin alongside him?

What was Yamashita Toru for Moriuchi Takahiro?

 _Four_.

Toru shoved Taka to lay down, and propped himself to jail the smaller man between his sturdy arms.

The man grimaced. An uneven smile appeared on his face as he gazed down to him. "Anyway, Toru-san, from who did you know this shitty place? It isn't your first time here, right?" Taka cupped his cheeks. Judgement adorned his gleaming eyes. "How many women have you ever brought here?"

Toru gritted his teeth. His chest hurt from the raising hard beat knocked his ribs. "Shut up."

 _Three_.

"I'm sure the woman is not your girlfriend."  Taka shrugged his shoulders and chuckled again, as if he found something that sounded so funny. Whatever it was he didn't know. Didn't understand either. Didn't care.

The man patted his cheeks, his slender fingers slid down and played with his lips. His gaze locked into him. "Let me guess, it's definitely not a celebrity. Neither it's any models that you usually brought for a night date." Taking a deep breath, Taka whispered in his ear, "So, which slut were you sleeping with, Toru-san? An AV actress? A hostess? A girl from a massage land? Or..."

"I said, shut up."

_Two._

Taka grinned, squinting his eyes that was full of vanity. "Your fans?"

 _One_.

Finding what he said as funny, Taka wheezed. His body shook all over. And his eyes teary from laughing. "You must be doing it behind your girlfriends, right, Toru- _chan_?"

_Times up._

Deafening himself from Taka's complain, Toru stripped the man from what he was wearing and threw it to the floor. He grabbed Taka's wrists and pushed it down to the bed. His kisses marked Taka's neck and the skin around his collarbone.

Taka pierced him with his annoyed stare. "What are you doing?"

"You say you want sex, don't you?" Toru devoured Taka's reddened lips before he could say anything. Patience had no longer reside within him. It vanished like a grey smoke that soars into the sky. He could no longer heard anything but how the bed creaking, screaming as it collided with his heavy hunting breath.

The long blabber from the vocalist turned into an erotic melody created by their wet and rough impatience kisses. His right fingers danced on Taka's exposed body as his mind wandered to remember what tattoo Taka had in each corner of his fair skin. Taka felt hot in his touch.

There was no love and tenderness that could be found from each touch they shared together.

Sex.

Nothing less nor more. Only sex.

That was what the man wanted and what'd he give. Only sex. Nothing less. Nothing more. Sex, only that.

Cold gnawed at his heart while heat blanketed his body. Taka jolted and hold his wrists when his fingers squeezing his chest that would never be full like those of a woman. Hearing Taka's soft groan and the shortness of his breath galvanized his groin.

Toru reached for a condom and lube the motel prepared on top of the nightstand. Cold rubber covered his erection, and the cold lubricant to his fingers -- even though heat returned to his senses when his index finger was inside Taka.

_Toru. Toru._

How many times was his name whispered among Taka's heavy sighs?

 _Toru_. 

And Taka groaned

 _Toru_. 

And Taka choked in his breathe.

In each movement of his index finger, like a woman Moriuchi Takahiro writhed under him.

 _Toru_.

His name was again shouted by a man who for now replaced a woman for him. In a thing that couldn't be called as love making.

Sex. Only that.

His lips met with a chest that expanded and deflated. His tongue circled the tip before he bit it, making Takahiro struggled from the sensation.

There was no love shown.  There was no tenderness.

Sex.

He gave what Taka wanted from the start. He wasn't the antagonist of the plot.

"Spread your legs." His order was met with a laugh and the same judging stare.

Taka did what he ordered, spreading his legs and showing him how open his body had become. Lubricant dripped from his inside, patterning the sheet below him.

"What are you looking at, Toru-san?" A hoarse voice trapped his attention when he looked up. "... You know..." The man's right foot pressed against his shoulder, his toes then traced his chest, touched his corner and pressured there.

Toru closed his eyes, feeling the electricifying sensation and the increasing splashes of heat on his stomach.

"No matter how long you see it, you won't find a clitoris down there." Takahiro's went down to his enthusiasm. His blood flared up, racing along with his heart beat. "But, you don't seem to mind, eh, Toru-chan?"

He groaned when Taka pressed against him. A satisfied smile plastered on the older man's face. Heat overwhelmed his body, taking over his sanity.

Grabbing Takahiro's ankle, Toru dragged the owner closer and drapped one leg on his shoulder. He loved hearing Taka's cries when he pushed himself inside him.

"Wait...," Taka said, "...Wait, Toru-san..."

A burning pleasure welcomed him the second he entered further.

"Toru..." Takahiro groaned helplessly. Heat colored his cheeks.

That moment he held all of Taka's pride and freedom. In a second he would not waste even the slightest bit, when he was in control of someone who always loved his freedom. A man who would never let his legs and hands get shackled. However, look at this moment, how his fingers gripped Moriuchi Takahiro's wrists so strong that they might ended up leaving marks.

In that second he enjoyed his victory. When the heat melted him inside Takahiro. When as if giving him resistance, Taka squeezed and clinged on him, refusing to let him easily enjoying his victory.

But he enjoyed it. He loved it. Therefore he began to play the melody of his victory on every move.

 _Toru_. And a moan.  _Toru_. Then Taka choked. _Toru_.  A plea came. _Toru_. Taka breathed so heavy. _Toru_. And he groaned. _Toru_. The bed screamed louder. _Toru_. Their hot breath collided. _Toru_.  And he growled.  _Toru_. Did he hear how outside the February rain started to fall?  _Toru_.  And damn it. _Toru_. Their skin slapped each other louder and harsher, agonizing him.  _Toru_. There was another plea. _Toru_. Faster. _Toru_. Harder. _Toru_. Deeper.

_Toru._

_Toru. Toru._

_Toru. Toru. Toru._

"Takahiro..." He silenced Taka's mouth.

And their sex ended. Just like that.


End file.
